Conway Mill Trust » joke

A Wee Bit of Irish Humor

admin — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 15:07:06 +0000

Tim opened the morning newspaper and saw his name in the obituary column. He rushed to the phone to call his friend. “Did you see the paper?” asked Tim. “They say I died.”

“Yes, I saw it,” replied his friend. “Where are you calling from?”

A Wee Bit of Irish Humor

admin — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 15:46:16 +0000

A tourist was driving very speedily through a rainstorm in Donegal in June when he was stopped by the police. The visitor explained he was going home the next day and couldn’t appear in court and asked, “Don’t you have summary fines?” The rain-soaked policeman replied, “Ah, no sir, it rains all the time and the fines are the same, summer or winter.”

A Wee Bit of Irish Humor

admin — Thu, 20 May 2010 16:53:50 +0000

A teacher was testing the children in her Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven. She asked them, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big rummage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?” “NO!” the children answered. “If I cleaned the church every day, cut the grass and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?” Again the answer was “NO!” By now the teacher was starting to smile — this was fun! “Well then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?” Again, they all answered “NO!” Bursting with pride for them, the teacher continued, “So, how can I get into heaven?” Five-year-old Sean shouted out, “YOU HAVE TO BE DEAD!”